With it being Valentine’s Day this week, Jimmy Kimmel presented Valentine’s Day cards inspired by the Trump administration.
Kimmel told his audience that the White House released a line of Valentine’s Day cards its website. Due to the lack of laughter, he had to clarify that he “made them up” because “we’re at the point where anything is believable.”
He went through the selection of cards, beginning with the “best-seller” President Trump, whose card read “I flip for you!” with a picture of his hair flailing in the wind. Then came Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, whose card read “The White House categorically denies it is Valentine’s Day… No more questions.”
WH Advisor Stephen Miller‘s card read “I wanna have your children… deported!” and Donald Trump Jr.’s card read “I’ll be thinking about you in prison.” Eric Trump‘s card read “I love you like Daddy loves Jared.” First Lady Melania Trump simply wrote “Whatever Michelle Obama said last Valentine’s Day.”
Kimmel took shots at top congressional Republicans. Speaker Paul Ryan‘s card read, “Your lips are sweeter than the president’s ass! … Be my Valentine” and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell‘s card read “I’m gonna move on you like a Mitch.”
He had one for Russian President Vladimir Putin, who wrote “Can I inject you into my Olympic team? Because you are dope.”
Kimmel also reminded men that “no grown woman wants or needs a stuffed animal” for anyone who’s shopping for a last-minute gift at CVS.
Watch the clip above, via ABC.