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Self Defense 101

Editor’s note: Do you need something to smile about? Every day, WND selects the best joke offered up by readers and contributors to its Laughlines forum and brings it to you as the WND Joke of the Day. Here is today’s offering:

a. Guns have only two enemies: rust and politicians.

b. It’s always better to be judged by twelve than to be carried out by six.

c. Cops carry guns to protect themselves, not you.

d. Never let someone or something that threatens you get inside arm’s length.

e. Never say, “I’ve got a gun.” If you need to use deadly force, the first sound they should hear is the safety clicking off or the hammer cocking.

f. The average response time of a 911 call is 23 minutes; the response time of a .357 is 1,400 feet per second.

g. The most important rule in a gun fight is always win. There is no such thing as a fair fight. Cheat if necessary. Second place doesn’t count.

h. Make your attacker advance through a wall of bullets. You may get killed with your own gun, but they’ll have to beat you to death with it because it will be empty.

i. If you’re in a gun fight, 1) if you’re not shooting, you should be loading; 2) If you’re not loading, you should be moving; 3) If you’re not moving, you’re dead.

j. In a life and death situation, do something … It may be wrong, but do something!

k. If you carry a gun people will call you paranoid. Nonsense! If you have a gun, what do you have to be paranoid about?

l. You can say “stop” or any other word, but a large bore muzzle pointed at someone’s head is pretty much a universal language, and, you won’t have to press 1 for Spanish/Mexican or 2 for Chinese or 3 for Arabic.

m. Never leave an enemy behind. If you have to shoot, shoot to kill. In court, yours will be the only testimony.

n. You cannot save the planet, but you may be able to save yourself and your family.

Donald Trump has made it acceptable once again to be politically incorrect, but Dr. Allen Unruh has made it fun … and funny. You’ll want to drop these jokes on friends and foes alike. Get “The Politically Incorrect Book of Humor – Why It’s Better to be Right than Politically Correct.”

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Got a great joke you want to share with the world? Write it up in the WND Laughlines forum. Who knows? It might be selected as the WND Joke of the Day – and your wildest dreams will come true.

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